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'm still here, in the middle an impatience which must be free soon. I was in the hands of retiring Life of Duccio Demetrio, I started reading it it's me talking and I feel that I have a long, long time still, after attempting to read and understand: it will not be easy, in fact, run out of work that leads me to each new chapter in the middle of a truth forces me to stop, to reflect, to examine, to experiment. Above all, think. It 'sad to go forward. Things are bad just read. They are so real that I do something I can not continue to read today. It now means these days, in recent weeks. It 's always this way: I'm a bad player. Use a lot of time running out a book. Demetrius exalts the virtue of the delay in the life reserved, but for me it is torture. I seem to be inconclusive, the I could never finish anything: jump a stake in Fraser. I let myself be distracted by ever new insights that lead me away from reading today ...
and impatience me away from me, take me to shore up no less important to me is another book I found in Demetrius library on display alongside the work devoted to shyness. This is from The inner male. The loneliness of men . Immense work, full of lessons, all to learn. Even more painful. After the list of vices, the possible virtues. I searched on the website of the publisher. Then the sites of Demetrius. It would be really long to recount the discoveries that will save. You need just this: Demetrius has invented a University of Autobiography! It teaches us to write about himself, to tell. One of his important books is just Raccontarsi. The autobiography as self-care . Do you understand where does the impatience? I should also buy this particular book? Certainly I will, to understand what I'm doing, if you write this stems from a need to 'cure', but I do not understand what! Well, not entirely healthy? Why I write about me, in these forms sometimes little narrative? To avoid the hot core and the painful subject of my daily life, because there is hidden the reason why I never played in public in a jazz band? What do I fear? Improvising is not perhaps the same as live? So, I'm afraid of living?
I feel like a fever on him now. I must absolutely return to search inside the book from where I started. Montaigne says that shyness was the cage where she was confined her whole life. Because these words are so hard to understand for me? Is this not also be mine? Demetrio added to the title of his work a caption that reads: The feeling of shyness and the virtues . Not a defect or a disability, then. A feeling. Where they can germinate under proper to the life dodges. The timidity of character trait, must be life dodges .
You know what I discovered some days ago? One of my students are reading the book of Demetrius! I is 'following'? Or is a happy coincidence? I found a companion in misfortune? There, I said 'bad luck'. It 's so, so I think that is not so lucky. It has to do with a matter 'low', which would be better not to speak. Now I will be a little 'hard to look in his eyes the pupil. I do not like to share a weakness with a woman ... Well, I must proceed on my own. Again, the loneliness. Everything back. Shall I continue to read and drive me by the hand of Duccio Demetrio. You can tell a reading? Blessed my brother Dario! He never had these problems. For him, life is a cup to drink to the bottom every day, without hesitation. Other than delay! He did not miss a thing of life. But even in life eludes me! It is good to see what stuff I have done, basically.
Now I do not seem to be more impatient. Maybe, I'm not really unhappy with me. Maybe my life is definitely taking the fold of a 'life dodges'. Maybe not the 'disease' is. Not a new character. Perhaps more telling still be able to say what happens around me. But above all inside of me. And 'this I prefer to contemplate the landscape. From there come the notes of my music. Perhaps, I have reason to hope for me.
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